Finally ~ BFP!

I wrote this 4 months ago.  And was very reluctant to make it public due to many reasons.  Yes, I am finally pregnant!  In fact, I wrote my experience every weekly but decided not to post it because it seems like all the same every week.

But after gotten good blood test result that show low risk for Down Syndrome and other diseases, I thought it's ok now to go public.  In fact, I have gone public with my family, friends and colleagues.  Re-reading this now brings back lots of anxiety and also excitement.

Here goes:
So, while my memory is still good and everything is fresh in my mind, I am going to share what happened this cycle that made a difference.  But since I am worried that telling it out so early might jinx this pregnancy, I will probably post this after the first trimester.

Here goes.

As per previous cycles, I have lost hope on this.  First off, after AF I have a very bad cough and then was allergic to abalone.  Then not only that I did not know exactly when I have ovulated, I have started to have sensitive nipples and sore breasts very, very early.  When Google, it says that it could be estrogen dominant.  Then I decided that it's a doomed cycle and proceed to buy a natural progesterone cream which turns out to be not.  

Anyway, if you want to symptom-spot, I can share with you what I have experienced.  But they were right about symptoms being similar to AF.  Only a pregnancy test can confirm.  Nothing else

Temping

This cycle I did not temp the whole cycle.  I started around CD14 to see if there is any temp rise to mark ovulation.  I guess I should have temp the whole cycle but I was really losing hope and decided not to stress so much on this.  From CD14-CD19, the temperature was between 36 to 36.3C.  That's when I suspected that this might be an anovulation cycle.

As I was disappointed, I stopped temping from CD20 onwards.  What's the point right when AF is due in another 7-10 days.  

Then I resumed with temping to see any signs of AF as it gets closer to AF due date.  Every morning I would tell myself, 'The moment of truth'.  CD31 was 36.7C, CD32 was 36.5C and today is CD33 at 36.7C at 3.30am.  Immediately I knew something is up.

Usually when AF is around the corner, temp will drop immediately from 36.5C back to 36C.  That's when I decided to test.

OPK

I did use OPK this cycle, starting from CD12.  It was only at CD17 that it was positive.  But still the temp didn't coincide with the positive OPK.  

BD

We BD quite a bit this cycle, more than the previous cycles.  But was on alternate days.  Since I didn't know when exactly I have O, we just BD around the fertile time.  And we really enjoyed the BD session.  

Symptoms

Sensitive nipples - At around CD19 or CD20, my nipples were very, very sensitive but my breasts were not sore.  A quick Google search came back that it could be a sign of estrogen dominant.  Hopes dashed.

Metallic taste - One day during the 2WW, just 1 day, suddenly my water taste like metal.  I just pushed it aside as I had that before in AF cycles.

Blocked ears - One or two times during the 2WW, I had sudden blocked ears.  I had this during the first pregnancy.  So, this gave me some hope but I tried not to think about it too much.

Exhaustion - I won't say I was exhausted.  But during the weekend before the BFP, I was taking longer hours at nap, say from 2-4 hours?

Cravings - Not really any cravings but few days before BFP, I only wanted to drink 100 Plus or something of salty and sourish.  Yesterday and today, I drank 100 Plus.  That's a sign for me as my first pregnancy, when I had the same meal for few days straight, that was a huge sign but not a definite sign coz during AF cycles, I was also craving.

Aversions - None during the 2WW, but today after the BFP, I couldn't stomach the noodle that my mom made.  The mushroom taste was too overpowering.  In fact, I tried to eat them coz I don't want to waste it, but immediately threw up.  Since I also have aversions in AF cycles, I don't take this up as a symptom.

Backache - This was common for me before AF.  But this time it was on and off and on and off instead of straight till AF.

Sore breasts - Sore breasts are pretty common for me.  About a week before AF was due, breasts became sore and heavy but not too painful.  I also noticed a blue vein on the left side of my left (.)(.).  But previous cycles, I have darken nipples and it was AF.  So I just pushed this symptom aside.  Usually when AF is arriving, the breasts become less sore which was the case this cycle except that it was less sore but still sore.  Not less sore to no sore.

Sneezing and blocked nose - First pregnancy, I was having quite bad blocked nose.  Starting from CD31, I started sneezing like crazy but not flu or cold.  Instead I think my body was so hot and trying to adjust to the temperature outside.  Like when I covered with comforter, then I sneezed more.  But when I covered with a thin blanket, then it stopped.

Cramps - Usual AF cramps came like on CD28-31.  But turns out to be implantation cramps.

Dream - One night during the 2WW, I dreamt that my father was so excited that I will be having a little girl.  But the dream was very vague and not vivid.

Dry skin around mouth - This was unusual for me this cycle.  One day while talking to my manager and was touching my face, and found that the skin around my mouth was peeling.  And it was quite a bad peel, almost like sunburn.  I didn't use any product on my skin.  I have stopped washing my face with anything except water.  I didn't put moisturizer at all.  I thought it was because of the new organic lemon shampoo.  Maybe it was too drying.  Googling came back with very scary results, from kidney failure to AIDS.

Peeing a lot - Not really before BFP.  But peeing a lot before AF is quite common for me.  Especially when I have that pain on my lower left abdomen.  Mr Google said it might be fibroids.  But a day after implantation bleeding and a day before BFP, I started going to the loo a lot and passing very little urine.  I thought I was having UTI.

Implantation bleeding - This was the biggest sign.  But since I have been spotting few days (max 2 days) before AF, I thought it's just AF coming.  So on CD 31, when AF was due (according to Fertility Friend since I didn't know when I have ovulated), I started spotting.  But it stopped and became brown cervical mucous to nothing, then I suspected.  This was the biggest clue for me in the first pregnancy.  And this was what prompted me to test.  In fact, I wasn't planning to test until CD36, the longest cycle.  But no, tested on CD33.

Weeping - On the day before BFP, I was driving past the old ObGyn clinic where I had the D & C last.  I started crying in the car and said it's unfair and all sorts of things.  I looked up in the sky and asked why no good soul wants to come to me.  Yes, drama queen for a bit.

Special mention is a weird thing that happened on CD31.  I had orgasm dream and it became a very bad AF cramp, almost like contractions.  It woke me up.  I can't remember the dream though.  After that implantation happened.

Supplements

Here's what I have been taking for all the cycles:

Vitamin B (started 2 months back) - actually, this was not prescribed but I bought this few years back and it was expiring in Sept 2015.  So I thought better finish this up.  From Mr Google, found that Vitamin B6 actually helps to create progesterone and also build up the blood circulation and all that.

Vitamin C - when I was sick the last time in December, the Chinese sinseh told me to drop all my supplements except Vitamin C.  Since I started with the Flavettes chewables, I am in love with it.  Then from Mr Google found that Vitamin C also helps in fertility, so why not?

Vitamin D - the same bottle that Dr Helena prescribed for me and I still can't finish it.  So might as well continue and not waste it.

Calcium - was prescribed by Dr Helena and read online that we should take Vitamin D together with calcium, otherwise it is ineffective.  So I keep topping this up.

Folic Acid - a must.

Himalaya Sperman - an ayurvedic pills for DH to improve his sperm quality.  He has been taking religiously throughout.

Here's what I have added to this cycle:

Ayurvedic pill - sorry but I don't know what it is or the name of it.  You see, I asked a friend who is currently pregnant about tips to get pregnant.  She consulted her ayurvedic doctor and got me some medication.  But I forgot to ask her the name and I just took it without knowing what it is.  The pills were supposed to strengthen the overall body.  And few days before BFP, I have finished the bottle.

Here's what I have stopped this cycle:

Metformin - I stopped half way through last cycle when I started having symptoms of low blood sugar.  Guess Metformin was too effective.

I have also reduce using anything chemical on my skin.  Like I stopped my SKII skin products entirely and sunblock.  For shampoo, I was also using baking soda and apple cider vinegar occasionally and organic shampoo recently.

So what do I think was the biggest difference this cycle?  Back to last cycle, before AF, I started to do some mantras and clearing and meditation to strengthen the womb.  It wasn't anything for fertility or to be bless with a child or what.  It was just a clearing method.  I began to notice the difference in the last cycle.  The usual lower left pain was gone and it was overall a very smooth and painless cycle.  I was so happy.  This was the second cycle and it's a BFP.  So, I credit my BFP to this meditation method.  It's not for anyone.  It's for long practitioners.  I have been doing this meditation for years.  So thankful for this.  Last cycle I was reading the mantra and clearing everyday for a week.  This cycle was every few days.

I understand some ladies were so keen in getting their BFP that they tweak the photos of the POAS.  I can tell you that as long as you have hCG in your body, you don't need to tweak anything at all.  

For me it was immediate 2 lines.  So on CD33, 21st May 2015, I tested and I broke down at 3.30am.  I think I conceived on 4th or 5th May 2015 and might have ovulated between those 2 days and judging from my baby's measurement now it shows around that time.

I didn't know what to do after I got the 2 lines.  So I decided to use the same pee on digital test.

Squatted on the toilet floor and cried for a good few minutes before waking DH up and told him and cried.  Two whole years of misery.  Two whole years of losing hope.  Two whole years of keeping up with faith.  And finally.

OK, now that the excitement is almost over and as much as I am excited over this news, I am also very nervous and anxious.

Pre-BFP, I tried to symptom spot and look for similarities with the first pregnancy.  Post-BFP, I pray and hope that I don't have any symptoms that was similar to first pregnancy that resulted in miscarriage.

And to add on to this, I believe stress or rather no-stress plays a huge part in fertility.  The few months leading to this BFP, I was quite stress-free at work.  I would say this was one of the contribution to this BFP

OK, that being said, if everything is well and good, you will see this post in about 3 months time on my birthday.  If not, it's another memory for me.