Rainbow Baby

Yesterday, I checked and found my milk has finally dried up.  Was feeling a little sad about it.  Guess I was a little too attached to breastfeeding and now that the journey has ended, I felt it was a good experience, but I won't be able to do it again.  Gosh, am tearing up right now. Totally missing my pump, my nursing cover, my little milk storage bottles, my ice pack, my cooler bag and everything to do with breastfeeding. Throughout this journey, I have never thought of giving up even once, even though it was quite challenging.  And I have not regretted a single moment. It was a beautiful journey that words failed to express my emotions.   Throughout the journey, I went through it all.  Nipple confusion, crying non-stop after each feed, swollen breasts, swollen nipples and milk blisters.  I am thankful that I never had mastitis or leaking breast or bleeding during pumping. I also tried mixed feeding with formula and get...

It's been more than a week since I last breastfeed my girl.  And this whole week I have been on an emotional wreck. At first I didn't know why I am feeling so down and sad.  Then I pin-pointed it to ending breastfeeding.   Sigh. First, I felt like the relationship on breastfeeding has ended.  A beautiful relationship.  I totally felt very sad about it.  It's not like my girl doesn't like to hug me or kiss me or what not.  It's just this feeling that I am not going to do it again makes me even sadder.  Gosh, am going to cry now.  Coz we are not planning a second child and so I don't think I ever get the chance to breastfeed again. Second, the happy hormones produced during breastfeeding has ended and made me sad and depressed.  Imagine for 2 whole years I was feeling on top of the world and then it stopped.  It's kinda like a drug addiction.   Lastly, I feel sad that I am not going to use the breas...

I am so happy today that I feel the need to share this good news.  No, I am not pregnant again and not sure if I am planning to have a second one soon. Let me share a bit of history first.  Back when I was 18 years old, I had my first surgery to remove a benign breast lump.  It was a huge one measuring 3cm x 5cm.  Since then, I have to follow-up with the GPs and insurance companies gave me a hard time on my premium because of this.   One fine day in 2007, I went back to the GP that my parents used to bring me when I was a child and the first GP who confirmed the breast lump when I was 18.  She decided to do a random check on my breasts again and found more lumps.  Immediately referred me to see a radiologist to get it properly scanned and checked.  Found that there are new lumps and although they are all benign, it seems more lumps will grow. What I was told is, I have lumpy breasts, meaning they are prone to breast lumps or fibr...

Am seeking opinion from you mothers out there.  Not sure if I want to post on FB as I don't want the whole world to know my issue, so don't wanna post in TBAN and I am not exclusively pumping, so can't post in that Exclusively Pumping Group either. So I have reach the stage where the decision to wean or not to wean has to be decided upon.  I have breastfed for 1.5 years now.  My goal is 2 years.  However, during the recent hospitalization and right after that I got sick for 2 whole weeks, my supply has tanked so much that I can only pump half oz each time. In fact, because I was sick and exhausted and having major sleep deprivation due to looking after my girl and then when I fell ill, I was coughing so much that I can't sleep at night, so eventually, my supply suffered. I only pumped once a day, that is during lunch time on a weekday.  At night, I will direct latch.  Nowadays my girl is drinking more fresh milk than breast milk.  I still ...

I have effectively breastfed for 1.5 years now.  In the beginning it was a struggle as I have chronicled out in this blog.  It would have helped if someone has spoke to me about it before I gave birth, someone who doesn't charge me for their services, someone who knows my struggles, someone who is helpful and genuinely want to help.  So here's some tips, hoping to help some new moms to overcome the struggles.   1. TBAN If you have any queries, you can always post in TBAN on Facebook asking the other mommies for advice.  However, bear in mind, your post will be available for public.  So if you have some private kind of questions, say you have a problem with your nipple, or your breast is swollen and you are not sure if it is mastitis and you want others to see your pictures, or your baby's private parts are red and you want to share the picture.  So before you post any photos, please keep this in mind.  Your post is public, meaning anyone of...

Baby hit 1 year old on 28 Jan 2017.   That marks 1 year of breastfeeding and the irony of it,  having a milk blister on that day too.   Ouch! Baby has started to suckle for fun and thus not getting the milk out on purpose and causing the milk blister.   She likes to suckle to sleep.  And now likes to climb over me or her dad while still in dreamland. This 1 year,  I didn't exclusively breastfed or pumped.  I had to mixed with formula occasionally until about 6 months.   I still remember when she turned 6 months and the supply was low, as in only left with 2 bottles in the fridge,  we started her with solid immediately and was able to save the bottles for the next day. I was a low supply mom.   Never leaked.   Never had more than 3 bottles in the fridge in 1 day of pumping.   Never had mastitis.  Bought the milk storage bags but never got to use them as I don't have enough to ...

Baby is 8 months old today.  And today I am submitting my overdue report card.  Supposed to do a report card at 6 months.  But never too late! So what's happening now?  Baby knows who is who.  She still can't call me or her father yet.  But she will make sounds like 'Ay', 'Haro', 'Ada', which is so cute.  She is very good with eating solid food and at the same time very good at drinking milk, direct latch.  She hasn't started teething.  She knows how to crawl.  She knows how to stand and cruising along furniture.  She think she can stand on her own without anyone supporting her.  She can climb up the stairs without help. Speaking about breastfeeding, I just want to share my experience again.  I might have written about this preciously. After 40 weeks of an uneventful pregnancy, I gave birth after being induced.  I gave birth vaginally with the help of epidural and vacuum.  I managed to latch baby aft...

I was adamant to start solid food only when she reaches 6 months old, as recommended by the paed and also in some mommy group.  My sister was pestering me to start when she was 4 months old because that's when my nephew started.  I said no, stubbornly.  Insist to start only at 6 months. Then I read in Kelly's Mom about solid food, to look for signs if she is ready.   Signs that indicate baby is developmentally ready for solids include: Baby can sit up well  without  support. Baby has lost the tongue-thrust reflex and does not automatically push solids out of his mouth with his tongue. Baby is ready and willing to chew. Baby is developing a “pincer” grasp, where he picks up food or other objects between thumb and forefinger. Using the fingers and scraping the food into the palm of the hand (palmar grasp) does not substitute for pincer grasp development. Baby is eager to participate in mealtime and may try to grab food and put it in his mouth....

This happened couple of weeks ago.  Remember I posted about a recurring milk blister on my right (.)(.)?  I have finally got rid of it on my own.  But I don't recommend it. This is one of the breastfeeding horrors.  So, as usual, I tried to pick it using finger nails while in the shower.  After a few times, that stubborn blister still there.  So, I did it one more time, this time with force and I felt skin came out.  Delighted, I looked at my nips and found that it is bleeding.  OK, I thought to myself, perhaps now it is out. I compressed my right boob to see if the duct is cleared.  Instead of milk squirting out, it was blood.  I thought to myself again, ok, so this is how pink milk came about. I finished shower and dried myself.  My nips continue to bleed.  I thought to myself, oh, this is unusual.  Usually, it's just a single drop of blood.  Not this much.  I used a tissue to press on it to stop t...

Lately, I have been getting plugged ducts and milk blisters.  Both are painful.  And I have no idea how it has suddenly appeared. Milk Blister Milk blister is more painful.  Feels like being stabbed from the inside.  If you don't know what is a milk blister, please ask Mr Google.   I have tried few methods to remove it.   First time it happened, I didn't do anything.  Baby successfully removed it.  It was on the left breast and it didn't happen anymore. Second time on the right breast, I used my finger nails to break open the tiny skin that cover the duct.  Again success.   Third time again right breast, I happened to cut my finger nails and was too short to pinch the tiny skin.  So I used a sterile needle.  I think I didn't do it correctly, ended up bruise and more painful. The milk blister did go away.  But I don't recommend this method to do at home.  Better go to a professional, i.e lactatio...

Sigh.  It has happened.  Usually, mothers reported a drop in supply when they have their period.  This is not the case for me though, but my supply has dropped today.  Dropped half oz every pump.  It's bad.   I thought I was a just enougher but now I am going to low supply. I can only analyze what happened.  It all started this week.  Baby was sick last week and there was additional bottles of milk in the fridge as she didn't have much appetite.  Because of that, I became lazy to pump and dragged my pumping session as mentioned in my previous post.  That's a very bad move.  Sob sob. On top of that, I thought that since my supply has been established, even if I drop a pumping session or shorten it, I should still get the same yield.  I was doing power pumping every lunch hour while having my lunch or tapao my lunch.  But this week, I decided to pump only 30 minutes instead of the 40 minutes power pump and have ...

Today, I would like to post about post-partum depression.  This is a serious problem and I hope people take this seriously. Honestly, I don't know if I have it when I was in confinement.  Due to the breastfeeding problems that I was facing, I was so upset and cried a lot.  There were times, I was so frustrated with my little one that I just ignored her and let her cry.  I just sat there watching her cry until DH came and carried her away. There were also many times that I was so afraid that I would hurt her.  More so when she co-sleeps with me.  Every morning, I woke up to make sure she is breathing and then I breathe a sigh of relief.   Women who had severe post-partum depression can hurt their little one or hurt themselves.  There are many cases out there where new mothers have murdered their newborn child because of this.  Or new mothers who committed suicide because of this.   From my experience, I was very aware of ...

This is gonna be short coz I am in a hurry.  Lots to do at work and everything came at the same time and not enough time to complete.  On top of pumping 3 times at work and can't stay after work, kinda hamper my work.  So I have to be fast. As you can see from my title, I am very frustrated.  Today, while doing my power pump, the stupid Lacte Duet soft breast shield came off.  You see, the soft shield can be detachable from the backflow protector, unlike the hard shield which comes in 1 piece.  And lately, it comes off so easily that I have spilled my milk multiple times. But today I have the worse spill.  I dropped an ounce.  As it is, I don't have enough for the girl and now spilled!!!  What happened was the right breast shield fell off while pumping and in order to prevent milk from spilling out from the bottle, I quickly try to grab it but in my haste, I dropped the left bottle and milk just flow out from the bottle.  Fast f...

So, it came to a point that in order to keep my sanity, I have decided to supplement with formula for 1 feeding, usually the last one before she sleeps at night.  Now, don't shoot me for doing so.  I have tried my best.  Ate all the herbs that I can.  Tried every booster out there.  Also ate lactation cookies.  But so far, nothing was able to increase my yield to be more than what she demands. Motherlove More Milk Plus Special Blend has increased my yield slightly more.  And pumping more and more power pump has also increased a bit.  So now, I believe my supply has been established.  And it's a constant 1oz per hour.  Well, it was 1/2oz earlier, so I do think this is an achievement. I pump today, feed tomorrow.  I get ready at least 5 bottles of 4oz each before I go to work the next day.  If I missed a pump, or like weekends too busy with the little one, then come Monday, I would have to suffer a little more.  I h...