Rainbow Baby

No, I am not pregnant.  Was kinda regretting not having a second child, but I think we are better this way.  Though many are encouraging me to try another one, but pregnancy at 4.0 is not going to be easy. Now that I am not pregnant, I would like reminisce the time when I was pregnant.  So many taboos I have broken and so on. Just now, I read a sad news about a soon-to-be mother, who listened to this group of mothers on FB about not to induce the baby, and her baby died at 45 weeks.  So, please, please, please, do not listen to the mothers.  Follow your heart, if you feel something is not right, please go to the hospital right away.  Stop asking for advice on FB.  None of us are experts and they are only advising you based on their own experience.  Every one is different.  Every pregnancy is different.  Every labour is different. OK, back to my pregnancy 3 years back.   Travelling Q1:  Can pregnant mothe...

A colleague got pregnant successfully via IVF and gave birth to twins.  Just as they reached 1 year old, she got pregnant again, this time a singleton and I suspect it's natural.   Out of excitement, I shared this news with another colleague who has been trying to get pregnant for ages but not successful.  Even tried IVF but failed.  Her reaction was nonchalant and I was wondering why she is not excited over this news. Am I being too insensitive towards her feelings?  True enough, although she said she is going to surrender to God for whatever outcome and will not try that hard.  But that doesn't mean inside she doesn't feel sad or a little bit envy for those who are pregnant. I remembered when I was trying and trying to get pregnant.  Every month I tried a new natural method.  Paid thousands to get me and DH evaluated to see what's the problem with us.  Turns out we were just fine.  It was just bad timing, I guess. But ...

Finally, the day has arrived.  I started to feel contractions at midnight of 27 Jan 2016. That's one day overdue.  At first, I thought it's BH, so I just brushed it aside.  Then it was 20 minutes each duration and about 50 seconds each time.  By 3am, there was bloody show.  I didn't know it was the mucous plug that came out until I reached the hospital. Very quickly, I was transferred to the Delivery Suite upon arrival.  The nurse hooked me up on the machine to check baby's heartbeat and contractions and everything is good.  Except that my cervix was tightly closed.  Not even 1mm.  It was 4am and since there is no progress, the nurse told me to sleep. Woke up at 7 and was told ObGyn will come by 9am.  He came by 11am and checked my cervix.  Still closed and tight.  Baby's head is high still.  Dang.  He doesn't want to induce me.  Instead just want to monitor my progress in the normal ward.  He said if he ind...

So, it's Week 40 today.  She is supposed to make her appearance soon, but still no sign of contractions. On Sunday night, I had period cramps every 30 minutes or so and thought it was time.  Turns out it was Braxton Hicks.  Yup throughout pregnancy, no sign of BH and now at the end, it decided to come and trick me.   I tried natural induce yesterday, by doing butterfly yoga pose and nipple stimulation.  Butterfly pose was still ok.  But the nipple stimulation gave me painful but short and fake contractions.  Bad idea. In the end, everything stopped.. No contractions, no period cramps, nothing.  Quiet as can be except baby still happily nesting inside with a naughty chuckle, thinking to herself, I am still comfortable here inside. Baby, if you are not out naturally by 28, doctor would force both of us, making things uncomfortable for you and me, both.  If you are a good girl and considerate, please come out on your own soon, before that. ...

Just when I am about to go on maternity leave, my laptop died on me.  Looks like I have to use iPad for everything then despite the fact I hate typing on iPad. You know, I have been saying that I do not want to be c-sec and induced.  I don't discriminate those who chose these methods.  In fact, sometimes there's no choice but to choose these methods only. I am not afraid of either methods.  I have been through 3 major surgeries in my life.  Although I was not afraid of it and was also proud to tell the process behind each one, but I did regretted doing it all.  Sometimes, I viewed surgeries are not a necessity, instead it causes more problems. First was a surgery to remove a breast lump from my left breast.  I was 18 and the lump was benign.  It was a combination of tissues and hormones that causes it.  But it was huge, measuring 3cm x 5cm.  After the removal, my insurance company doesn't want to cover me for any further breast protectio...

So, today is my last scheduled appointment with Dr Jason.  And now only I find out how the whole system works at his clinic and the hospital.  Call me an idiot, which I did to myself today, but after 9 months of pregnancy, today I found out how to spend my time at the hospital effectively. First, go as early as 7.30am, or even earlier if you wish.  The numbering system has started although no staff will be there to man the counter yet.  And although the main glass door remain closed, you can enter through the side door.  I was No.3. By 8am, the counter will start calling the number.  Register and go for your breakfast.  I used to think that I needed to wait for the nurses to call me to pee and weigh and then only breakfast.  It is not arranged that way.  It's arranged as per your registration number. Go to Level LG to the cafeteria and order a nice breakfast.  Here in the mornings, they usually served fried kueh teow, fried mee, fried ri...

I asked few of my colleagues who had been pregnant before, what were the signs right before labour?  Just like what were the symptoms right before a BFP kinda question. No one knows for sure.  Some said their water bag broke.  Some said they felt nothing.  Some said they felt contractions.  Everyone is different.  And every pregnancy is different. So now, the waiting game continues.  When is my due date? The gynae said it's 26 January 2016 based on my LMP.  I have a dilemma now and I am not sure if I am overthinking things (which my colleagues said I am) but just want to be rational about the whole situation. You see, the pregnancy can be 42 weeks.  I will be 40 weeks on 26 January 2016, that's when I am supposed to be due.  Baby is measuring at 3.2kg now, which means she can only add another 0.1kg = 3.3kg if she comes out at 40 weeks sharp.  I am not sure to what extend my gynae will induce me if I am overdue, like...

When anyone asked when I am due, I can now safely say it's next week.  How am I feeling while waiting to pop?  Extremely nervous although trying to keep it all in. First, since it's my very first time, I don't know what to expect.  Like what tolerance level.  I heard that the pain is like very extreme, so that already make me super nervous. Second, what will come first for me?  Water breaking?  Contractions?  Bloody works?  No one knows again.   It's all a waiting game and the waiting is making me very anxious.  Also very moody.  And taking it out on DH. Am I ready for what's there ahead of me?  I really don't know.  I can say I have made all the preparations there is, but in the end, I don't think anyone is ready for sure.   So, in order to put my mind at ease and not think about this every single second, I want to write about pre-CNY rush/craziness/madness. I love CNY.  But I don't like...

I am still here.  Still pregnant.  Approaching 39 weeks.  Not much sign.  Can't say no sign at all but there's some weird signs but stopped. My last gynae appointment, doc said baby's head already engaged.  But not deeply engaged, just like slightly engaged.  Apparently you can't determine engagement via ultrasound.  He has to use his hands to check my lower abdomen and see if baby's head is there.  It was slightly uncomfortable.  Not sure if I am dilated though. Baby is 3.2kg, add 0.1kg a week.  And now just waiting for labour.  Nobody knows when exactly.  But I still have a week to my due date.  So I guess we just have to wait. The signs that I am getting is feeling uncomfortable in the cervix area especially when baby is moving.  When that happens, then I get slight heart palpitations.  I was also getting diarrhoea and peeing a lot.  And not to mention, walking like a penguin.  And the s...

Last night, I fell.  Bump didn't hit the floor.  I basically did a split.  Right leg was straight out and left leg on my knees.  It was a very good stretch.  I didn't like fell on the ground but I did a very good split and stretch. What I did was I stepped on some water and it's not like a lot of water.  You see, I have sweaty feet and sweaty feet and wet floor is very dangerous.  So that's what happened. And then on top of that, my ankles were badly swollen.  Yes, I lost control of my legs now.  I can't estimate.  I can't even see my feet.  And yesterday, I totally cannot control how I walk.   I am super clumsy and bump into things and knock onto walls and things I cannot imagine of.  I guess my ligaments are really loose now.  I have to be extra careful. After that stretching accident, I felt a little cramp and a little sharp pain below.  I am not sure what it is.  There's no blood though....

Throughout the whole pregnancy, my teeth and gums have been behaving.  Despite the midnight snacking and not brushing my teeth after that and all the acidity from vomiting, my gums did not get swollen and my wisdom teeth did not act on. Now towards the end of pregnancy, both my wisdom tooth (up and down) decided it's time to come out, together with the baby.  Come on! My family says it's because my body is really overheated up.  Like a furnace.  Which I think so too.  With the greenish phlegm and now wisdom tooth, I think my body had it already. A colleague asked what I want to eat.  I said nowadays I don't want to eat anything.  I just want to give birth. For the past 2 days, I have lost my appetite.  Not only that, I feel nauseous.  In fact, I would prefer to eat instant noodles than anything else.  And with the phlegm, it's even harder to go down.  Coz I know for sure it will come out again when I cough. Yest...

You know what?  I am not really sure now what's going to happen.  I was expecting that things to flow as it is supposed to be.  But right now, I am really not sure. You see, baby still has not engaged yet.  She did try to squirm her way down and I was feeling it last night.  It was a little like a cramp and then she pressed on my bladder and I felt like I need to pee there and then.  It also felt a little uncomfortable.  This happened after I went shopping with my mom and did a whole lot of walking. But after a good night sleep, she is back up again.   My colleagues remarked that my womb is still high.  My mom said the same.  The panel doctor that I went to see today also said it's quite small.  But since it's my first born, it's probably like that.  Nurses also gave me a shock look when she asked how far along I was and I said 38 weeks.  Same goes for the pharmacist who gave me the medicine and asked which tr...

Now have to visit the gynae every weekly to check progress.  It's a little tiring, the waiting I mean.  4 hours for merely 5-10 minutes and paid RM200 for it. She is 3.1kg now and I asked if I can have a natural delivery and he said I can try. Hmm....try.  Is he pro natural birth or not?  I dare not ask.  But I think I kinda know what he meant. Like if I cannot dilate big enough.  Or if water broke and still not dilated.  Or other complications that required emergency c-sec.   But I can try. I didn't give him a birth plan.  Coz I trust I am in good hands.  I mean we can read all we want on Google and take what Google advises us to do.  But when it comes right down to it, it is up to us if we want to follow or not.  Besides, I am not a medical professional.   He said she is a little on the big side.  But so far, I am all good.  No signs.  She hasn't even engaged yet although head is a...

Youngster nowadays are so rude and incomprehensible.  I am talking about those Gen-Y going to college right now.   See, I worked in a university.  I see many of them day in day out.  Everyday, there is something to talk about regarding their behaviour, attitude and what not. Why does Gen-Y feels like they own the world?  Is it because of the upbringing?  Is it because the parents give them everything they wanted?   I don't know what's wrong with them.  But I can see they are becoming society's burden.  Rude and foul-mouthed.  I asked myself, is this how I want my kid to be brought up? I can make a list of their weird and strange behaviour which we at Gen-X would not understand. 1. After they have entered the lift, they don't keep the lift doors open.  Twice, I have been knocked when the lifts doors close while I was walking into the lift.   2. They enjoyed chatting in a group and walk in a horizontal ro...

Hit with running nose and sore throat, thanks to DH for passing it to me.  It's really not a good time to be sick right now, when all I am doing it to ensure I am in good fit for delivery. Sleep at night has been interrupted so much that I can't really function in the day time.  What's weird is that only at night, baby will try to engage herself.  And because of that, I have to pee more.  And because of that, I can't sleep well. But it doesn't happen in the day time.  Hmm, is this a night baby? Since I haven't been feeling Braxton Hicks, I tried nipple simulation last night by cleaning my nipples.  It worked.  I started having menstrual cramps and backache. But I told myself, never again.  Because as it is, I am sick right now and having those cramps makes it even more uncomfortable. I was given MC to rest today and guess what.  I slept better in the afternoon.  No need to pee so much although I drank tons of water. ...

1. Cramping 2. Bloody show 3. Mucous plug came out 4. Water broke 5. Contractions that are very close to each other 6. Very bad backache I am watching all these signs.  But right now, I still don't feel anything.  My colleague said, baby still haven't engaged yet as my womb still looks high.  Sigh. Why am I sighing?  Didn't I wish for baby to come out only when she is due and not too early or too late?  Well, it's because I am peeing so much at night, like every 2 hours from midnight onwards, that I feel so tired the next day due to the lack of sleep.  So much so that I am so tempted to buy adult diapers. As it is, I am like a walking zombie now.  And I was told to relax and sleep more now before baby comes.  How to do that lah? No wonder some women said they got tired of pregnancy towards the end.  I understand now.   I have finally hit 10kg increase.  And if baby comes out in 3 weeks time, I think I ...

Hi everyone!  Happy New Year to everyone!  After a terrible year 2014, I vowed to start every new year with good things.  We made a mistake by starting year 2014 with a quarrel and hence the whole year was just downhill all the way.  And I am serious.   Never Ever Start An Argument or A Quarrel with Anyone on New Year's Day.   So, for 2015, I ensure I started the year with good things.  Meditate with good people.  Eat good food.  Stay good temper.  Year 2016 also was the same.  Because I truly believe now, how you start the new year, will dictate how your whole year will be.  Call me superstitious, but after going through a terrible, horrible year 2014, I will never allowed anyone to start a new year with a quarrel. Remember my colleague who is 2 weeks advance in pregnancy from me?  Well, she has given birth early this morning at almost 39 weeks. As for me, I am approaching 37 weeks.  Hospital bag alr...

I don't know why I had such a hard time writing Year 2015 in review.  I guess mainly there was nothing major that happened except that I fell pregnant and it covered most of my 2015.  So, I don't feel like repeating myself of what happened in first or second trimester. There were ups and downs, just like always.  What I find different this year, besides being pregnant, is that people around us are kinder when they see our big stomach.  Even strangers would talk to us.   Since it's the first pregnancy that made it so far, everything is so new to me.  Year 2015 has been a learning year.  So much to learn about cloth diapers, breastfeeding, being pregnant, labour and delivery.  Also about gynaes and what to do and what not to do.  What to eat and what not to eat. On Christmas Day, I finally let the cat out of the bag by posting a photo of us on Facebook.  Yeah, the 8 months pregnant me.  And there were many, many likes and...

Yay...reached week 36.  So far so good.   Backache If I sit too long, then I get this backache that makes it very difficult to walk.  But if I sit in a position that straightens my back, then the backache would vanish fast.  I still haven't determine which position is that.  Sleeping on one side doesn't help the backache at all. Acid reflux It's getting worse.  And lots of phlegm.  It doesn't help that I eat lots of spicy food (my family loves to cook them).  I eat very little in the evening.   Cravings Getting more and more cravings towards the end of pregnancy.  Like chocolate.  Any cold, sweet drinks.  Yesterday night after puking my dinner, I had a sudden urge to eat instant noodles. Peeing I don't think I have reach the point where I peed a lot.  Unless I drink a lot before bed.  Otherwise, I only wake up like once to pee at night.  Maybe baby has not lodge yet? Baby movement I...

This Christmas, there was a lot of nice shows on Astro.  All the Disney animated cartoons and Fox Movies and all that.   But if you cry when the beast died and Belle cried in 'Beauty and the Beast' or when you watched a crappy movie, ahem, 'But Always' starring Nicholas Tse and Gao Yuan Yuan and cried, or while watching 'Frozen' and see Anna always being ignored by Elsa and she felt sad and all that, then you know it's the hormones.  I swear it's definitely the pregnancy hormones. I have teared so much watching movies these days that I think I am nuts.  The other day, I watched a very good movie online.  It's called, "A Tale of Samurai Cooking : A True Love Story" and I cried towards the end because it was too touching.  I highly recommend this movie to everyone.  The love story is almost like "Jodhaa Akbar".  You won't see a any kissing or hugging.  But you see a lot of hidden sparks flying between husband and wife. ...