Breast-feeding withdrawal symptom

It's been more than a week since I last breastfeed my girl.  And this whole week I have been on an emotional wreck.

At first I didn't know why I am feeling so down and sad.  Then I pin-pointed it to ending breastfeeding.  

Sigh.

First, I felt like the relationship on breastfeeding has ended.  A beautiful relationship.  I totally felt very sad about it.  It's not like my girl doesn't like to hug me or kiss me or what not.  It's just this feeling that I am not going to do it again makes me even sadder.  Gosh, am going to cry now.  Coz we are not planning a second child and so I don't think I ever get the chance to breastfeed again.

Second, the happy hormones produced during breastfeeding has ended and made me sad and depressed.  Imagine for 2 whole years I was feeling on top of the world and then it stopped.  It's kinda like a drug addiction.  

Lastly, I feel sad that I am not going to use the breast pumps, the nursing covers, the little glass storage bottles anymore.  I was so happy with these items and feel sad that I am going to abandon them once and for all.  

When I told my husband that I am feeling sad that I have stopped breastfeeding and want to do it all over again with a newborn baby.  He said it's probably because I didn't do a good job in the beginning and want to do a better job with the next one.  Well, probably he is right.  

It has been a difficult journey.  Nothing helps to increase the breast milk.  I was pumping like crazy just to keep supply up.  But once I got the hang of it, once she started solid food, I was very comfortable nursing in the public (with a nursing cover of course) and was more confident in nursing and dealing with all the difficulties.

And now, after 2 years, almost 2.5 years, it has ended. 

Now I know why people want to have so many kids.  It's because breastfeeding really gives you a lot of benefits.  Main thing is this emotional feeling.  

Sigh.

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