Rainbow Baby

Yesterday, I checked and found my milk has finally dried up.  Was feeling a little sad about it.  Guess I was a little too attached to breastfeeding and now that the journey has ended, I felt it was a good experience, but I won't be able to do it again.  Gosh, am tearing up right now. Totally missing my pump, my nursing cover, my little milk storage bottles, my ice pack, my cooler bag and everything to do with breastfeeding. Throughout this journey, I have never thought of giving up even once, even though it was quite challenging.  And I have not regretted a single moment. It was a beautiful journey that words failed to express my emotions.   Throughout the journey, I went through it all.  Nipple confusion, crying non-stop after each feed, swollen breasts, swollen nipples and milk blisters.  I am thankful that I never had mastitis or leaking breast or bleeding during pumping. I also tried mixed feeding with formula and getting donors milk.  I just want to s

This is easier than I thought.  But the beginning was a little bit tough.  Once my girl got the hang of it, she knew what to do.  And it became a habit after that. Few months back, I wanted to start potty/toilet training.  I got the necessary equipment.  One potty upstairs and one potty downstairs, toddler toilet seat for downstairs and was ready to go. But after few attempts, my girl was completely turned off by the potty.  The moment I asked her to take out her pants to sit on the potty, she would cry and throw tantrums.  So, we stopped completely and back to diaper. I traced back my mistakes and realised me and my parents made these mistakes: 1.  Frustrated when she made accidents - This was me.  Natural reaction when she peed in her pants or on the floor.  Never ever do this. 2. Threaten her - My mom love to do this.  She would tell my daughter if she pee in the potty, then she can go out, or can eat candy or what not.  And if she didn't pee in the potty, m

It's been more than a week since I last breastfeed my girl.  And this whole week I have been on an emotional wreck. At first I didn't know why I am feeling so down and sad.  Then I pin-pointed it to ending breastfeeding.   Sigh. First, I felt like the relationship on breastfeeding has ended.  A beautiful relationship.  I totally felt very sad about it.  It's not like my girl doesn't like to hug me or kiss me or what not.  It's just this feeling that I am not going to do it again makes me even sadder.  Gosh, am going to cry now.  Coz we are not planning a second child and so I don't think I ever get the chance to breastfeed again. Second, the happy hormones produced during breastfeeding has ended and made me sad and depressed.  Imagine for 2 whole years I was feeling on top of the world and then it stopped.  It's kinda like a drug addiction.   Lastly, I feel sad that I am not going to use the breast pumps, the nursing covers, the little g