The End of a Beautiful Journey


Yesterday, I checked and found my milk has finally dried up.  Was feeling a little sad about it.  Guess I was a little too attached to breastfeeding and now that the journey has ended, I felt it was a good experience, but I won't be able to do it again.  Gosh, am tearing up right now.

Totally missing my pump, my nursing cover, my little milk storage bottles, my ice pack, my cooler bag and everything to do with breastfeeding.

Throughout this journey, I have never thought of giving up even once, even though it was quite challenging.  And I have not regretted a single moment.

It was a beautiful journey that words failed to express my emotions.  

Throughout the journey, I went through it all.  Nipple confusion, crying non-stop after each feed, swollen breasts, swollen nipples and milk blisters.  I am thankful that I never had mastitis or leaking breast or bleeding during pumping.

I also tried mixed feeding with formula and getting donors milk.  I just want to share that I am not 100% against formula but at the same time not 100% supportive of it.  But if you have no choice and having very low supply, unable to keep up with demand, unable to get donors milk, then formula is the next best.  Formula has saved me from a lot of stress from pumping and always worrying about supply, but at the same time given me lots of stress from thinking what chemicals went into my girl's stomach.  Till now she is only on fresh milk and no formula.  As I have seen my friends with kids on formula are a little hyper.

About donor milk, though breastfeeding advocate is supportive of it, my paed advised me against it.  It's because our milk matched our baby's age.  Donor's milk may not be too suitable.

When I got back to work, I pumped many times a day.  During office hours, I pumped at least 3 times (once during lunch).  Thankfully I have supportive bosses who understood my disappearance.  

I tried hands-free pumping at my desk with Freemie but didn't work much and boobs size seems to double and so I stopped that.  First milk supply seems lower with Freemie.  Second when colleagues or bosses came to my desk when I was pumping, I was unable to stand up immediately to greet them.  

So, I decided to walk 10 minutes to the nursing room, 3 times a day.  I would pump for 20 minutes so I would disappear for 30 minutes each time.  During lunch, I would do a power pump of 1 hour and eat lunch at the same time.

Not stressing is the best to increase supply.  Plus eating lots of rice.  None others helped.  Not even domperidone.

People lose weight during breastfeeding, I gained double.  

Being a full-time working mom and breastfeeding/pumping as well is double the work.

At night I pumped last round at 7pm, sometimes eating dinner at the same time and then last one would be direct feed.

When working outside, say attending conference, I would pumped in the car or hotel rooms.  So far I have pumped mostly in my company's Mother's Room, Sunway Medical Centre's nursing room and 1 Utama's nursing room.  When I was more confident in nursing her in public, I used nursing cover and I have done it in cars, buses, trains, airplanes, airports, restaurants, during music class and while chatting with friends.  I am so thankful that I have not met anyone who would reprimand me for nursing in public.

Every single pump, every single nursing session, I had enjoyed it tremendously even though sometimes I rushed through meals just to pump.  Probably because of the oxytocin being released, made me felt so relax and loved and the bond with my girl has been amazing.  

My girl is almost 2.5 years old now and I am glad I have given her the best.  Weaning was quite easy and now she doesn't want it at all.  

If I could do it all over again, I would.  But we have decided not to have another child.  So, this is it.  A memorable journey.

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