Sibling rivalry

One day, my nephew made my mom very angry.  She didn't want to talk to him.  He felt bad but at the same time too stubborn to say I am sorry.  

Then my mom told my girl, tonight I will sleep with you since you are a good girl.  I won't sleep with kor kor, because he is such a naughty boy.

Just that statement alone, made me upset.  This is how sibling jealousy started.  It is all the parent's fault.  

Growing up, I have always been the good girl.  Quiet and not much temper.  I listened to my parents and do whatever they told me to do.  In the eyes of my parents, I am a very good girl, compared to my sister.

My sister is the complete opposite of me.  She gave my parents a difficult time.  

I can't remember how many times that kind of statement would have spoken by my mom.  I don't know how much of jealousy my sister had harbored over the years, but finally one day it exploded and I realised she had always thought my parents love me more than her.  I didn't know that.  I had always thought my parents always giving in to my sister and letting her get her way.  

Back to the above, my nephew said, then I won't let mei mei into my room.  I will close the door and won't let her come in and play.

I told my mom off for saying that.  I asked her, why do you want them to fight?  For nothing?  Why cause jealousy for no reason?  It's not funny at all.  I have been there and done that.

Many times I would argued with my mom about parenting.  Sometimes I would say the parents are at fault for all these poor upbringing.  She would be defensive and say how can we keep on blaming the parents if they are now adults and not children?  Can't they think on their own?

Yes and no.  I don't want to keep on arguing.  My take on it.  The parents are responsible for spoiling their child and overindulging them too much.  The children grew up being selfish and self-centred and think no end of themselves.  Yes, even if they are in their adulthood, they think they are right and no one is wrong.  Parents' fault or themselves?  

Parents should lay a strong foundation, teaching their children about love, teaching them about others, that the world doesn't revolves around them and them alone.  These children can grow up being dysfunctional and it's all the parent's fault.  

You say they are adults and how can they still blame the parents?  Well, some adults never grew up.  Some never knew what was wrong because no one told them so.  Some thought they were right their whole life.  Some only realised their mistake when they went for some motivational talk.  

Sure, we can't always blame the parents.  We blame the society as well.  Like they said, it takes a village to bring up a kid.  Yes, it does, especially a good kid.

Then my mom would argued, how come I am good and not my sister?  Both she treated the same way.  Well, how many times did my mom compared me with my sister?  Probably tell the other relatives the same?  I don't know.  My sister is probably just different, that my parents can't do much with her.  

I don't want to repeat the same mistakes my parents made.  My parents were working 7 days a week and hardly had any time for us.  We were left with caretakers most of the time.  Yes, they were earning money.  But I wanted more attention from them.  Now they are making time for that.  

My cousin's parents were also working in the same place with my parents.  So she also was neglected at home.  Now, she spent all her time with her children, making sure they lack none of it.