Electronic devices

When I was pregnant, I was adamant that I will not give my child any electronic devices.  I believed strongly that there is too much information being fed to the child by electronic devices.  At that time, I have learned that my cousin who has a lot of kids and home-schooled all of them, did not give them any electronic devices and they grew up very well, disciplined and obedient.  So, I was adamant.

When I got back to work after maternity, I realised that my parents (who is her babysitter) has put on the TV the whole day for her to watch YouTube and cartoons.  I told my mom once about the negative effects of letting her watch this the whole day and she defensively said my girl did learn how to sing from the TV and YouTube, which I cannot deny.

I understand that giving the child electronic devices or YouTube is very easy for babysitters.  Because the child will only sit quietly and watch and not even move one bit.  

My sister started giving the tablet to my nephew when he was 3 years old.  He became addicted to it, but still controllable.  He didn't throw tantrums if we took it back from him.  But the moment he is on it, he is hooked.  He is not interested in anything else.  Yes, he is quiet and attentive to the tablet.  He won't answer to you.  He won't look at you.  Just the tablet.  And it was scary how attractive the tablet is.

Then came to my own child.  I said no, I won't repeat the same mistake my sister made.  Now that my nephew can talk, he kept on asking for the tablet when he is free.  So, I will not give to my girl at all, so that she doesn't know it at all.  I even told my aunty and said I will not give.  My aunty laughed and said, surely you will give in to it one day, just like your cousin (another cousin with 2 girls) did.  My cousin swore against electronic devices and ended up giving both girls the tablets for whatever reason.  I said no, I won't do it.

Then came the day my girl was hospitalised.  She was hooked to the IV tubes, she can't move at all.  Just on the bed and probably can walk up and down the bed only.  So, in order to keep her occupied, I have no choice but to give in to the electronic devices.  I find I managed to get some rest while she watched some nursery rhymes.

Then came home, on and off I have to give her the iPad.  Sometimes when I have to go toilet and I am alone with her, I have to keep her occupied.  Sometimes when I am cutting her finger nails, I have to let her watch the iPad for a bit to keep her distracted.  Sometimes when I am making her sit down for her meditation, I have to let her watch some devotional songs.

Then when we flew to China, I was keeping the iPad as an emergency entertainer.  I let her watch some devotional songs and that was it.  I kept to a minimum time, say 30 minutes.  But on the way back to KL, both me and her dad were dead tired.  We ended up letting her watch more than the allowed time.  We really can't help it.

I still do not wish to give her the iPad the whole time.  She is so good now that she knows which icon is for YouTube Kids.  I put a passcode on my iPad and my phone, so she can't use them as and when she like.  And I can see she does have some control.  When I said no, then she will stop.  

But I still don't like the idea of electronic devices.  I can see the effects on my girl.  I can see too much information being fed to her and sometimes she is information overload.  The good thing about her is, she doesn't stay still for 1 show for long.  Same with the iPad.

I also bought her an i-Pen, which is a talking pen that can read and sing and record too.  I find that is very good for her and she enjoyed it a lot.  At least this one she has to point to the book and look at the book, instead of moving images.  

I can't deny that electronic devices helped sometimes especially to keep the child quiet or when you want some quiet time.  I see a lot of parents putting the child on the high chair and put on the phone or tablet for them to watch the entire meal.  Some parents even strapped it to the stroller for them to watch during shopping trips.  Some put it in the car for them to watch during car rides, in their car seat.

One day, I was researching on what toy should I get for my girl that is educational and found that this child psychologist said to remove all the toys that have flashing lights and can talk and stuff like that.  Go back to basics instead.  Give them blocks, puzzles, board games.  Don't give electronic toys.  The reason was simple, she feel these toys delayed speech.  

Every parents want the best for their child except for some parents who is only thinking of themselves.  But every parents and every mom especially, want the best for their children.  

Because we are living in this world that so many choices are given, they are conflict sometimes.  Like to vaccinate or not.  To caesar or not.  To give organic food or not.  

I wanted the best for my only girl.  I wanted her to vaccinate to keep her away from deadly virus and bacteria although some parents would argue that without vaccination is better for their kid.  I wanted to give her organic food only, then realised I will be eating out too, which is not organic.  So, I have to let her eat non-organic food sometimes to keep her stomach immune to all bacteria.  I decided against epidural and caesar, but still ended up with epidural because I can't tahan the pain due to long hours of labour.

I feel in this age and time, we are relying on electronic devices and smart devices too much that we became handicap without it.  And I am talking about adults, not children.  And I find having electronic devices doesn't make communication better.  Instead, it made it worse.

Just to demonstrate this, few days back, my husband's phone spoilt and was sent to the service centre.  Ever since he was out of phone, he used the office phone to call me more than when he had a phone.  That's because when he had the phone, all he does was surf the net.  He doesn't even read the Whatsapp messages that I sent.  But now without a phone, suddenly we communicate more through proper talking.  

As for myself, I am trying to cut down using my phone in front of my girl.  Instead I want to spend more time with her without the phone.  But I am still trying.  I still want to watch my k-dramas and k-variety shows when I have the time.  As it is, I don't surf Facebook so much when I am at home compared to in the office.  But I do Whatsapp when I can.

So, this is my take of electronic devices.  We can't do without it and we can't do with it.