A fatal mistake

17 years ago, I witnessed the loss of a child for a mother.  My aunt lost my cousin sister in a tragic car accident.  Few years later, I witnessed another loss of a child for a mother.  A friend lost her only daughter to leukemia.  

Before being a mother, I don't understand what's it's like being in their shoes.  Of course I wouldn't want to be in their shoes ever because when I lost my cousin sister, the grieve was too difficult to bear.  What more for a mother.

When I miscarried my first baby at 6 weeks, I was devastated.  That was because I have accepted my role being a mother and was having high expectations of the days to come.  The pain was too much and I wouldn't even wish it to happen to my worse enemy.  

After joining motherhood, I can truly understand the pain of losing a child.  Be it a miscarriage or a stillborn or a toddler or a teenager or an adult.  I can only pray that I don't have to experience that ever in my lifetime.  

Hearing the news of the death of my colleague's toddler, sent shivers down my spine.  And this is the second news for this year.  Both age are quite close to my girl and so I resonate with them.  It hurts me as well and I can't imagine what they are going through.  How many times will they blame themselves?  How many times will they regret?  I don't know.

It's always easy to blame the parents.  Negligence, ignorance, whatever.  

But....I don't even know how to start this.  I hate to say this but the parents were partly responsible from what I heard so far.  And by now it is too late to do anything.  You can't turn back time, no matter how much you wish for it.   

One year old child had red spots on his arms.  Not sure if fever was there as well.  Doctor advised parents to monitor.  Child was recovering from cold or something like that.  Parents brought the child to a theme park and played with water.   Back home, child's condition deteriorated and soon child had lungs infection and internal bleeding.  Just a week after the visit to the theme park, child was gone.

I am not sure if the child had HFMD.  No one was able to confirm that.  The red spots can be anything.  Rashes, chicken pox, eczema.  

But....I wouldn't bring my child anywhere if I see any spots on her body.  Because it could be ANYTHING!  For the benefit of other kids, I wouldn't bring her out at all and will quarantine her at home.  

With my girl, we have been through HFMD and rosella.  The latter was more scary because thankfully the HFMD infection was very mild on her but severe on me.  I couldn't eat for 3 weeks because the sores were in my throat.  And none of the doctor was able to diagnose me with it so all the medicine I got was for sore throat only.  I can only wait until the sores heal before I can function as normal again.

With HFMD, I was very quick in noticing the spots under her feet.  The spots just stayed there and on her fingers and there was none on her body or mouth.  Immediately I ask Mr Google and saw the pictures and knew it is definitely HFMD.  

With rosella, we didn't know it was what it was until the scary episode died down.  I witnessed seizures on my girl.  An episode that was so scary that I almost went amok.  The high fever was just too difficult.  From that day onwards, any time she has fever, I will immediately give her paracetamol.  No way I was going to let the fever skyrocket.  One episode is enough to scare me.

Now, I don't really know what was the real cause of death for this child.  I am sorry that the parents have to go through it.  But I also felt it was quite irresponsible for them to bring the child out knowing that he was not feeling well.  Be it red spots or flu or what not.  If your child is not feeling well, please don't bring them out at all.  For the benefit of other children and for your own.

I can understand if an air ticket is booked and you can't refund it.  But this one you can always opt out.  

I am just sad that the parents didn't get a second chance.  This is just one time mistake and it was fatalistic.  

Second thing I want to highlight is the water in the theme park.  You do know that it is highly chlorinated.  Some kids after spending hours in the water will come out with red eyes.  That's how strong the chlorine is.  Unlike the water in the swimming schools for kids where it is salted chlorinated, which I think the content of the chlorine is lower because salt is also used.  

And why did I send my girl to swimming classes so early is for survival.  From 1 year, she already knew how to hold her breath underwater.  She would ingest some water still.  At the swimming schools too, we were told that maximum time for a toddler to be in the water is 30 minutes.  Especially if the pool is heated.  Because they will tend to feel sleepy after that because of the warm water.  Classes are kept at 30 minutes.  Parents were also taught how to hold the kids in the water.  I think it is beneficial for all parents to join a swimming class and see because swimming pool are fun for kids and whether they know how to swim or not, swimming pool is a must in childhood.  So better prepare them for the water, be it underwater, bacteria in the water, drank some water, or what not.  Just let them be prepare.

Lastly, I pray for all the kids to have good health and be safe.  We are living in a scary world where even vaccines cannot prevent some diseases.  We as parents have to take to extreme precaution, especially if the child is still young.  May God bless all the children all over the world.