About parenting

I have to admit that I am not a perfect mother.  I have my ugly days when I shouted at my girl and would sometimes whack her when she does naughty things.  Especially on days when my patience run low, energy running out and spouse not helping.  

But end of the day, when we go to bed, I will tell her that I love her and would tell her I am sorry if I hurt her and we end our rift before bedtime.  

I don't pamper her as much as some does.  Because the grandparents are pampering her enough, so I am the bad guy in the family.  But at the same time, I let her know that I love her very much and that she is very precious to me.

Enough said about what I do.  I just want to share what I see and hear.

Recently, my girl was invited to a birthday party.  She is the youngest among the bigger girls.  There were about 7-8 of them, about 5-10 years old.  My girl was not shy and immediately went to play in the playroom where toys were aplenty.  At that time she was the only one there.  

My girl doesn't know any of the girls except the birthday girl.  Then came the bigger girls into the room.  And they seem to be very familiar with the toys and looks like it's not their first time there.  So they were doing role play and then my girl came and joined them.  She kinda disturb them as per the girls.  I was watching her and she was just putting some thing into the car that the girl already put the Barbie in.  So, the girls were screaming in annoyance.  One told me, "Aunty, can you please take away your baby?  She is disturbing us."  I was reluctant to do anything and was just watching their reaction.  In the end, before anything untoward happen to my girl, I just told my girl to play somewhere else on her own.  In my heart I feel, there is no need to play with bullies.  

I questioned myself many times the whole night.  Maybe I should just let her fight on her own.  Let her annoy the girls until they gave up on her.  But, I didn't have the heart to let my girl hear the screaming in her ears (though they were not screaming directly into her ears).  Being a cautious mom, I was worried the bigger girls might push them.  I don't know them too and I don't know their parents.

When we were about to leave, the girls have no qualms in asking the host if they can get their party bags now.  And that also were told by their mom to go ask the host.  Maybe they are very close to the host.  But to me, it is still being very rude to ask the host if they can get their presents, in such an entitled manner.

End of the day, I feel as parents we have to be strict to our kids.  But at the same time, we have to be loving as well.  

Kids are our mirror, our reflection, our image.   Teach them kindness and they will show kindness.  Teach them love and they will show love.  Teach them hate and they will show hate.   If you want your kids to be pushy,  bossy, entitled, so be it.  I guess, you have to choose how you want your kids to be.  

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