Rainbow Baby

I feel so fed up and tired.  Maybe lack of sleep has been contributing to this feeling, but I feel so unhappy, uneasy, discomfort and lots of worries. Since delivery, I feel there is not a single day without challenges or obstacles.  I knew having a baby will have its share of ups and downs.  But I feel there's just too many downs that I don't see any up at all.  And its just so disheartening.  Sometimes I blamed myself for all these that happened.  Sometimes I feel so helpless that nothing can be done.  Except I just stared at the poster on the wall near the bed which reads, "I Surrender". 1. Financial I knew having a baby will be costly.  But I didn't expect with GST and so many unexpected things, our financial position will be so badly hit. I am trying to save as much as I can but every month, we are living pay cheque to pay cheque.  And I truly worry for the future. a) New home We got vacant possession of our new apar...

Disclaimer: This post will be heavily product featured.  But I am not selling any of these items nor promoting these items.  I did not receive any money.  Just sharing what works for me on a day-to-day basis. I am a person who live on a having a system and would replicate that to make my life easier.  Meaning I do things at the same time everyday or wear the same things or something like that.  I am not a super disciplined person but when it comes to a system that works, I need that to survive. Being a new mother, my whole system broke down.  Everyday was an adventure and everyday there are surprises.  Not that I don't anticipate or hate it.  But because I need a system in order to arrange my life around it, I was feeling lack of direction and don't know where to head or where to go or what to do.   After trial and error for almost 4 months now, I am happy to say that I have finally found a system that works.  It's so good t...

It all started when I was still pregnant.  It was difficult to walk for window shopping and I got a lot of free time in the office.  So, I started to do window shopping browsing on the internet.  And lo and behold, I find it so easy to shop online.  Just click and voila, it's done deal.   After birth, I was confined for 2 months.  During this time also, I can't helped but to do online shopping as I can't go out of the house.  Whatever I find I needed, I would search on the internet and buy them. Even now, almost 4 months post-partum, I still do the same.  It's just so much easier.  No need to look for parking.  No need to get stuck in traffic jams.  No need to get cramp with the weekends crowd.   Of course, there are downside too.  I can't touch the items that I want to buy beforehand.  If it's electrical product, I can't test before paying.  I can't estimate how the size of the product, eventhough s...

A colleague got pregnant successfully via IVF and gave birth to twins.  Just as they reached 1 year old, she got pregnant again, this time a singleton and I suspect it's natural.   Out of excitement, I shared this news with another colleague who has been trying to get pregnant for ages but not successful.  Even tried IVF but failed.  Her reaction was nonchalant and I was wondering why she is not excited over this news. Am I being too insensitive towards her feelings?  True enough, although she said she is going to surrender to God for whatever outcome and will not try that hard.  But that doesn't mean inside she doesn't feel sad or a little bit envy for those who are pregnant. I remembered when I was trying and trying to get pregnant.  Every month I tried a new natural method.  Paid thousands to get me and DH evaluated to see what's the problem with us.  Turns out we were just fine.  It was just bad timing, I guess. But ...

Today, I would like to post about post-partum depression.  This is a serious problem and I hope people take this seriously. Honestly, I don't know if I have it when I was in confinement.  Due to the breastfeeding problems that I was facing, I was so upset and cried a lot.  There were times, I was so frustrated with my little one that I just ignored her and let her cry.  I just sat there watching her cry until DH came and carried her away. There were also many times that I was so afraid that I would hurt her.  More so when she co-sleeps with me.  Every morning, I woke up to make sure she is breathing and then I breathe a sigh of relief.   Women who had severe post-partum depression can hurt their little one or hurt themselves.  There are many cases out there where new mothers have murdered their newborn child because of this.  Or new mothers who committed suicide because of this.   From my experience, I was very aware of ...

This is gonna be short coz I am in a hurry.  Lots to do at work and everything came at the same time and not enough time to complete.  On top of pumping 3 times at work and can't stay after work, kinda hamper my work.  So I have to be fast. As you can see from my title, I am very frustrated.  Today, while doing my power pump, the stupid Lacte Duet soft breast shield came off.  You see, the soft shield can be detachable from the backflow protector, unlike the hard shield which comes in 1 piece.  And lately, it comes off so easily that I have spilled my milk multiple times. But today I have the worse spill.  I dropped an ounce.  As it is, I don't have enough for the girl and now spilled!!!  What happened was the right breast shield fell off while pumping and in order to prevent milk from spilling out from the bottle, I quickly try to grab it but in my haste, I dropped the left bottle and milk just flow out from the bottle.  Fast f...

So, it came to a point that in order to keep my sanity, I have decided to supplement with formula for 1 feeding, usually the last one before she sleeps at night.  Now, don't shoot me for doing so.  I have tried my best.  Ate all the herbs that I can.  Tried every booster out there.  Also ate lactation cookies.  But so far, nothing was able to increase my yield to be more than what she demands. Motherlove More Milk Plus Special Blend has increased my yield slightly more.  And pumping more and more power pump has also increased a bit.  So now, I believe my supply has been established.  And it's a constant 1oz per hour.  Well, it was 1/2oz earlier, so I do think this is an achievement. I pump today, feed tomorrow.  I get ready at least 5 bottles of 4oz each before I go to work the next day.  If I missed a pump, or like weekends too busy with the little one, then come Monday, I would have to suffer a little more.  I h...

My first breast pump.  I do feel a little attached to it because I have been spending 3 months with it, day and night.  Here's my honest review.  Please note, I am not paid to do this.  Just want to share.   If you want to know the specification and price, I suggest you Google.  There's lots of info.   Lacte Duet is not a hospital grade pump.  It has 2 motors that enables to pump both breasts and can adjust the setting for each breast.  Usually, I am just lazy and just on the pump and let it run.  I don't increase or decrease. The moment you on the pump, it will start the Stimulation process for 2 minutes.  Then it will go to Expression.  The pump will automatically off at 30 minutes.  The default setting is at level 3, which I find is just nice for me.  If you increase the setting, the cycle is longer.  I prefer short cycle as I feel long cycle means takes longer to empty breast?  I guess. ...