Am I being insensitive?

A colleague got pregnant successfully via IVF and gave birth to twins.  Just as they reached 1 year old, she got pregnant again, this time a singleton and I suspect it's natural.  

Out of excitement, I shared this news with another colleague who has been trying to get pregnant for ages but not successful.  Even tried IVF but failed.  Her reaction was nonchalant and I was wondering why she is not excited over this news.

Am I being too insensitive towards her feelings?  True enough, although she said she is going to surrender to God for whatever outcome and will not try that hard.  But that doesn't mean inside she doesn't feel sad or a little bit envy for those who are pregnant.

I remembered when I was trying and trying to get pregnant.  Every month I tried a new natural method.  Paid thousands to get me and DH evaluated to see what's the problem with us.  Turns out we were just fine.  It was just bad timing, I guess.

But we never knew it was bad timing.  All along, I suspect something was wrong with me.  It's clear that DH doesn't have problems either.  But it's me that it was hard to diagnose and the gynae just based on her analysis and knowledge.  It's too bad that I can't see what's going on inside.  I remembered I tried to stay healthy, eat lots of supplement, did some exercises and timed the exact time to DTD.  

I also tried to relax and let things be.  But after 2 years of nothing, to be relax is something out of the question.  Every month, the more I tried to relax, the more stressful I became.

Eventually, I got that BFP and I cried my eyes out.  I remembered the feeling of relieve.

But before I got that BFP, I was also frustrated each time I see someone pregnant.  I understand her feeling but I guess since I gotten pregnant and became a mother, I have forgotten how that feels like.

Struggling to TTC and being pregnant and a mother is truly 2 different things.  Not only literally but emotionally, hormonal and so on.  All I can think of now is how to be in the present to enjoy my baby and not think of the past of the struggles.

But for someone who is still struggling and wondered will there be a chance for her to be a mother, I understand it is difficult.  Unless you are the kind of person who are happy with whatever you have, all I can say is don't give up.  

The good news is that when I was in the Baby and Bump Momstastic forum, I was in this group where ladies age 30 and above struggled to be pregnant.  We talked about our fears, anxieties and share ovulation dates and so on.  I am happy to say that I have visited the forum today and found that many that I have chatted before are now either pregnant or became a mother.  They too struggled for many years before hitting jackpot.

So, hope is there.  I am sorry though, if you have reach the age of 40 and still struggling like my colleague.  It's true that the chances are super low now.  

What I have learned throughout this journey is that if it's meant to be, then you will have one.  If it's not meant to be, then you will not.  Because I find if you artificially create one, sometimes there are a lot of problems.  Say, premature babies, etc.  Of course, in the process of creation, you never thought of those things.  But once baby is here, then it's a lot of heartache and hardwork.  

I am not saying all IVF babies will be premature or not healthy.  Just that I have read so many blogs and so many friends of mine who had it unnaturally and then struggled to keep baby alive.  

Well, even those who have it naturally struggle, like me.  Who would have thought baby would have hernia?  Oh well.

Just believe that God will make it happen.  And keep that believe everyday.  Easier said than done though.  And probably easier for me to say this since I have gone through it.  Just don't give up hope.