Pedophile and sex maniacs

Yesterday, I read a disturbing post on Facebook.  Actually 2 disturbing posts.  First, it was a news report from The Star about an English teacher from UK, came to Malaysia and while acting as an English teacher, had sexually abused children as young as 6 months old.  I cringed when I read that.  He was arrested and subsequently jailed.  But that's it.  Just jail term.  Imagine the pain and life long suffering he had caused the children.  And I really can't imagine of the things he did.  6 months old???  They can't even walk or talk yet.  My heart sank.

Another post came from a Facebook user.  He remarked that there is a WhatsApp group in Malaysia which are posting all illegal and pedophilia news and photos.  And the users are young.  He also warned us not to post photos of children on the net because these pedophiles copied the photo on Facebook and then post it on WhatsApp group and started their disgusting discussion about the poor child.

Although he has blurred the photo, but in it I saw a photo of a girl, about 3 to 4 years old, wearing a one piece swimsuit with sleeves.  It's not even a bikini.  And of course wearing swimsuit which are tight can show the entire body including all the creases and fats and folds and stuff.  Apparently the photo also showed that she just swam and was wet.  And her private parts was outlined in that tight swimsuit.  And those sex maniacs started commenting on how tight it was, how wet it was, etc.  I don't want to talk more about this, but this is real.  It's crazy but real.  And the authorities cannot do anything about it.  Because who checks on WhatsApp and Facebook about these?  You post something political and immediately get attention.  But not these.

To what extend can we protect our children from all these nasty people?  I am very careful about posting my girl's photo on Facebook, especially.  Never full body.  Sometimes just face, or just hand without face or just feet without face.  But after reading those posts yesterday, I have decided to remove it once and for all.  You can call me paranoid if you want, but who knows what those crazy sex maniacs would do to the photo?  They can photoshopped and do all kinds of things to it.

Few years back, a mother posted in a Public breastfeeding group about her girl's rashes on her private parts.  She posted a photo of her girl's privates.  Other mothers started warning her, one after another and then reported to Admin to remove the photos.  Some mothers also scolded her for being so naive and ignorant.  Although her girl's face was not shown, but the photo of her privates was already too much.  

I don't know to what extend Facebook control what people are posting.  Some people do not have discretion on what's right or what's not.  Like I am super disgusted when I see graphic photos of people who met with accident.  Recently, there was a girl who committed suicide and a photo of her laying on the ground, dead in a puddle of blood was circulated on Facebook like wild fire.  Imagine how the family members would have felt.

Having a girl myself, I feel overprotective over her.  Her father is even more so.  Don't allow her to wear see-through clothes and don't allow me to take any naked photos of her, although no private parts were shown.  You know those cute newborn in their birthday suit photos, nope, not allowed.  And she is only 4 months old.

But I can't control say friends or family members who post photos of my girl.  And I don't know to what extend I have to have this overprotectiveness in me.  

You know, we always think that bad things only happened to other people or other families but not our own.  It's until it happened that you will feel that no one is exempted from bad luck or negativities.  When my cousin passed away in a tragic car accident 15 years back, I also thought things like that would never happened to my family.  But it did.  And the news came out in the newspaper and I was reading it as if it happened to someone else.  But nope, it happened to our family.  Things like this happened.

I was tempted to start a Dayre blogging instead of blogging here.  Using Dayre, I can use my phone to post.  Blogger, I always have to use my office computer because it's not that user friendly on my mobile phone.  I wanted to be like other proud mothers, showing off photos of their beautiful children.  But I don't want negative attention.  And too bad, Dayre is public.  No privacy.

Instead of us being super overprotective of our kids, we should teach the boys to respect the girls.  

I would like to share a story of my colleague.  She has a boy and then a girl.  When she only had the boy, she was sharing what she taught to the boy, especially the father of the boy.  That it's ok to elope with a girl and that it's ok to have children first then only get married.  That it's ok to scold the mother.  That it's ok to put down women.  That mothers are servants.  

Then after that when she had the girl, she was very worried about the daughter.  That she will tell us she doesn't want to marry off the daughter.  That the father is very protective of her.  And all that.

Tell me, why got 2 different treatments?  The boy can be reckless but not the girl.  And if you want your girl to be respected and protected so much, how come you don't tell the boy to protect the other girls as well by means of respecting them?

I throw the question back to her and her replied was of course the same with everyone else.  It's ok, he is a boy.  That he can protect himself but not the girl.  Then I asked, have you ever wondered what your boy would do to the other girls, not his own sister?  What about the other girl's feeling?  Or the parents' feeling?  And her reply was, it's the girl's parents responsibility to protect her and all.

Yes, I agree.  But if we teach all the boys to behave and respect girls and women as their own mothers and sisters, then all these crazy, sexual stuff wouldn't happened.

Like a friend told me.  Her friend's family is dysfunctional.  Friend's husband is a vulgar man and loves to watch porn and curse all the time.  They have a 4 year old boy.  And friend's husband would not hold back on his words and would still curse in front of the kid and would watch porn with the boy.  Tell me what values are you teaching your kids?  Porns are so disrespectful to women.  So, you are telling your kid, it's ok to do that to women?  His reply was to teach his son young.  My goodness.  Is this how sex maniacs are created?

I think it's the job of the parents to educate the young, be it girls or boys.  That it's important to respect everyone from children to elderly.  Show them to love everyone equally.  I can protect my girl as much as I can and I can teach her to be safe as much as I can.  But I cannot control how other boys will be treating her.  

A friend's daughter is in primary school and boy, she is very much bullied by boys.  And it's only primary school.  Teach the boys to treat all the girls like their own sister.  Protect them.

Our society is getting so dirty and abusive that it hurts me to see my girl growing up in such conditions.  We are all trying our best to give the best of the best for our kids.  But please, it's also each of our responsibilities to educate our kids young.

Don't blame them when they grew up and no longer the cute, innocent children they once was, and start to curse and watch porn and became someone you never thought they would become.  It's not their fault.  It's ours.

So, I am going to say this again.  Educate your kids young.  Love everyone equally, whether the same family or not.  Good upbringing will create good society.