Happy Chinese New Year!


It's the 6th day of CNY and now only I have the chance to post.  There was a bit of drama on the eve of CNY and was busy with 'open house' here and there.  But this year, I feel CNY is not as excited as when I was a kid.  The houses to visit has reduced.  The ang pow to give and receive also has reduced.  I didn't get a chance to bring my girl to see lion dance yet.  But just found out that there will be a performance this Sat at 3.30pm at Starling Mall.  

All these years, we visited our uncles and aunties and each one of them would host a lunch or dinner for the family from first day until everyone took their turns.  And all our aunties are pretty good cook that none of the lunch/dinner were catered.  

But as they grew older, I am thinking we, the young ones should start taking over.  Say to cook the first day dish, 'chai' or vegetarian dish and to start hosting the family reunion and so on.  I mean it's no joke to cook so many dishes for so many people and to clean up.  

Anyway, next year I target to make a visit to China for CNY.  Although not really eager to go because it's early spring and gonna be wet and cold, but I feel my girl should have the connection with her paternal grandma and aunt and uncle and her China cousins.  If we go, we would have even lesser visiting to do.  Oh well, I don't know, maybe we have a lot more places to visit and have to give a lot more ang pow.  

On another note, since this is supposed to be a happy post, I shouldn't share my disappointment that happened yesterday but I think I should state it.

I tried to help someone by sharing about my diet.  She has been having lots of health problem and I was trying to help her.  I have known her for many years.  Not only she doesn't want to follow, she decided there was a better way for her.  Although I encouraged her to do her own way, as long as she start somewhere, there was still tons of excuses and reasons.  So I kept on pushing her.  I thought I was helping until I saw an FB post indirectly asking me to back-off and leave her alone.  Although the post might not be directed at me, but I was one of those who has been pushing.  So, I take it as a message to me.

I kept emphasizing that I cannot understand why there are so much of excuses and reasons and justifications for not doing something that is good for you and you know it is good for you.  Like must cure this first, before I start this.  Must stop this first, before I can do something new.  Why can't she see that perhaps by changing her lifestyle now, things will improve, say sleep better, eat better, no more aches and pains?  But no, she doesn't want to hear or see.

I was upset.  I was trying to help her.  I know she is having depression.  She kept on posting about food and telling others the benefits of the food she is eating and yet she eats junk which she doesn't post on FB.  Obviously she tried to make a good impression of herself to people who doesn't see her.

Perhaps I was trying too hard.  But when I start to see people my age dying and not due to illness, I am very worried about my friends around me, especially their health.  

One thing I can never understand.  She said she cannot quit coffee.  I said it was an addiction.  She said it's not.  I can never understand this because I can't drink coffee.  I have tried once when I was younger and would have major indigestion and have to force myself to vomit it out.  Ever since then, I don't really dare to touch coffee because the side effects are too much.  I like the smell but I can't drink it at all.  Don't even dare to try again.

So she said she don't have enough sleep and have to drink coffee otherwise she has brain fog.  But I don't have enough sleep too at times, looking after my girl and I can't drink coffee, but I still have to work and get through the brain fog.  You know what I mean?  I am not saying that I am much stronger.  But why need to keep justifying?

Perhaps being a mother makes me stronger.  The sleepless night during the first year, breastfeeding and pumping throughout the year and once we have a child, all our time is for the child and hardly any time for myself.  This is the only reason I can see.  And reason why I want to get back to good health is because of my girl.

Unfortunately, my friend is childless, tried but failed.  I won't judge her for not being a mom.  But I think the strength from being a mother has made me who I am, for giving me the courage to fight on, for wanting to improve my lifestyle so that my girl can have a better future and I can live long enough to see my grandchildren.  Perhaps I have a goal but she doesn't.  

I feel for her.  I want to help her.  Perhaps not through diet.  Perhaps by giving better advise.  I don't know. Body and health is hers, not mine.  

OK, done ranting.  I have decided to unfollow her because it made me unhappy.  I have also decided not to mix so much with her because she complains all the time.  But probably would spend some time here and there to listen to her.  

Anyway, this Chinese New Year is nothing new.  Seems like everything is still about the same.  Hopefully can see some good changes soon.

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