Rainbow Baby

So, this week from Monday till yesterday, supply has been quite constant.  Averaging about 3oz each session.  On a good day, it's 4oz and that's max.  So far I have never seen anything past 4oz. There was a slight increase from last week where I was still pumping 2.5oz max.  So I was happy.  Didn't take any extra booster.  Just continue with lots of water and eating normal. Then yesterday, when I was trying to do the power pumping, baby kacau.  She wants to sleep.  The only way I can make her sleep is to put her at the breast.  And she drank more milk, after drinking from the bottle.  So, I didn't manage to pump much.  I was insanely tired too and just wanting to quickly finish pumping and go to bed.  The whole night, I let her latch.   Unlike the previous nights, I gave her one last bottle at midnight or whatever time she wants to sleep and then she won't kacau.  I could pump and play with her etc. ...

Baby is gonna be 3 months old tomorrow.  Yay!  Currently, I am still able to produce breast milk and I am ever so grateful.  It's produce today, eat tomorrow.  Right now, I have 2 days stock in the fridge and that's it.  So, pumping around the clock. Things that I have learned in these 3 months on breastfeeding Since I am an undersupplier of breast milk, my perception and knowledge towards certain things that I have bought has changed.   1. Hospital grade electric double breast pump In order to be able to empty your breasts, get a very good hospital grade electric double breast pump.   It is bulky but I think it's worth it.  When I was pregnant, my criteria in getting a breast pump is the low sound and light weighted.  Therefore, I purchased Lacte Duet Electric Double Breast Pump and am still using it.  I didn't buy any other pumps before or after.  So, I really can't tell if other pumps are better than this one. ...

As I was driving to work today, lots of thoughts were appearing in my mind.  I can't help but to wonder, if this is all to life?  I mean, waking up on a Monday morning and fight the traffic to work and then fight for parking spaces and then tolerate the nonsense at work and then fight the traffic back home, only to have this repeated for another 4 days.   I do this because I need the dough for my day-to-day living expenses.  And now with a baby in tow, it's even more expenses.  But is this all worth it? I can't say I am entirely happy at work.  I do enjoy what I am doing at the moment.  No monthly reporting.  No rushing for deadlines.  Just project basis.  But I feel the lack of life.   And to add on to pumping 3 times at work.  On one hand, I feel thankful for management to give me this flexibility.  On another hand, I feel so exhausted having to live my life around the pump.  And that also not producing...

I really want to give up on breastfeeding.  I am trying too hard and yet I feel it's not enough.  I am giving myself a lot of pressure and forcing myself.  But I still persevere.  I just want to give her breast milk at least minimum 6 months and max 10 months.  It's barely 3 months and here I am struggling.  I feel like crying out loud because I feel no one understand.  Even if they do, they can't do anything to help me. I have to pump on schedule to keep my supply up.  I have to pump at 7am, 9am, 1pm, 5pm, 7pm, 9pm, 11pm.  As it is, I have already missed some pumps because I have to go out or was late or just plain too tired. I will direct latch her throughout the night so that I can get some sleep. I wake up at 6am, but sometimes, I am too tired to wake up and ended up overslept.  This whole week, I have been late for work because I added the extra pumping hours. I saw an increase in supply by doing this.  But it'...

After struggling for 2 months to breastfeed, I finally narrowed down the possible problems and found my possible solution. I have been hearing and reading about drinking 3L of water when we are breastfeeding.  I always thought to myself that I am drinking enough water already.  But to be honest, I am just lying to myself. For the longest time ever, possibly from childhood, I never really drink a lot of water.  Sometimes, I think I don't drink enough though I don't feel dehydrated.  Sometimes at work, if I am too busy, I can even forget to drink water until I have reached the point of extreme thirst. When I was pregnant, I drank a lot of water and this is true.  Somehow, I was feeling extraordinary thirsty, though I don't have gestational diabetes.   Then after birth, I was back to normal.  During confinement, my husband and mom forbade me to drink plain water.  I can only drink red dates water and must drink it hot, not cold. ...

Upon the recommendation of Dr Koe to take the jabs at Klinik Kesihatan, we visited one yesterday.  Here's our story. The nearest Klinik Kesihatan at our kawasan is Kelana Jaya.  Few weeks before this visit, we check out the place to make appointment.  The appointment is very simple.  The nurse simply write down in our clinic's card (Dr Koe's one) and wrote there noted and the date of our appointment.  She told me to press D to take the number when we come. On the day of the visit, we went early as our appointment is at 8am.  Press D and pass everything (all the baby's cards) to the nurse at the counter, including MyKid.  Waited for half an hour and the number was called to approach the measuring counter.  Baby's weight and length and head size were measured.  Here was told to remove all clothing on baby to take the weight.  This is the requirement for all baby below 1 years old.  Then was told to continue waiting. Half ...

So I was happy after getting 4oz that 1 session.  Then it was back to before.  Pumping 1.5oz each time.  Whole day, manage to get 6oz.   Then was stuck in a terrible jam for 2.5 hours.  OMG!  Was engorged by the time I reached and was hoping to be able to pump and keep for baby.  But I was late and she already drank some milk but not enough and wanted more. Anyway, think positive!  I have ordered some lactation cookies.  Hopefully that will help me. I have accidentally ate some cabbage for breakfast today.  Already low yield.  Hopefully this doesn't kill my supply and have to keep pumping. Honestly, I can see a slow increase in my supply, especially when I pump using the breast shield and not Freemie.  With Freemie, I hope one day I can see more than 1.5oz.   I have been power pumping for all work sessions since last week.  Hopefully something will happen.  Donor's milk is running low. ...

OMG!!!  I must share this to remind myself this journey.  Yesterday, I did power pumping at 7pm and I got 4oz!!!  From birth until now, this is the highest yield.  In fact, I was rushing to pump because I was engorged!!!  It's the first time I get this amount and I was so over-the-top with joy. For a mom like me who only get 1.5oz to 2oz per session, 4oz it's bonus.  I just need to produce 10.5oz for baby.  She is taking 3 feedings while I am at work and each at 3.5oz.  Yesterday, I can produce 8oz.  Not bad.  Hope can meet her demand sooner. I don't know what was the milk booster.  Or whether the Motherlove More Milk Special Blend is working out.  Or whether the fenugreek water that I have been drinking twice a day.  Let's see what happened yesterday. Pumping session I woke up at 6am and fed her.  She is consistently on my boobs, so I am not sure if she is fed or not or just comfort nursing.  At 7...

To be exact, I love direct latching.  Not sure if it is the oxytocin that was released that made me happy about it but I love the feeling of holding my little one against my boobs and looking at her while she closes her eyes and suckle.   Direct latching also help to clear some plugged duct and only my little one can clear.  No pump or marmet can help. I have to admit that my little one suckle for comfort and not for food.  It's really difficult to break this habit but am trying to let her latch throughout the night and no bottle at all.  And on weekends, same thing.  Direct latch only.  At first I worry that she might not have enough.  So was obsessed with watching over her diaper.  But she seems alright. Only problem is once I start letting her latch, it's forever.  Like I can't do anything else.  Because she will take forever to enjoy. We are still learning about breastfeeding.  So many things to understand....

My biggest concern when I was about to go back to work was pumping at work.  My workplace is nice to provide us pumping mothers with a lactation room.  There are many pumping mothers at where I work. The first week after getting back to work, I used Freemie.  My pumping schedule was 9am, 12pm, 3pm and then while driving back from work at 6pm.  At 1pm, during my lunch time, I would go to the lactation room and do marmet.   Despite having a lactation room, I didn't use it.  I pumped at my cubicle.  My colleagues didn't hear or even realise that I was pumping away.  As my supply was really low, I did power pumping at all times.  Sometimes, while I am pumping and working, I don't even realise how fast time passed. It was really good and working out for me.  But using the Freemie, my output decreased.  As it is I am not producing much, the decrease was a big impact on me.  I believe the decrease was partly using Freemie...

I have created a label just for breastfeeding.  Today, I would like to share my breastfeeding obstacles and struggles.   While pregnant, I have always wanted to breastfeed.  I have to admit, I thought breastfeeding would be easy.  I thought that since God gave me a pair of big boobs, it would be easy to breastfeed.  But I also had my worries since I had surgery done on my breast before to remove a fibroadenoma cyst.  I read about latching.  I read about how good the milk is to our baby.  I read a lot. But in the end, it's the practice and not theory that make it works.   It's been 2 months since I started breastfeeding and it wasn't a journey filled with roses and perfume and rainbow.  It was really difficult.  I am sure I am repeating myself when I say this again.  Basically, the conclusion is that it's a circle of life.  Everything is inter-connected.  Let me just start from the beginning again. 1. Bi...