More update

I am still here.  Still pregnant.  Approaching 39 weeks.  Not much sign.  Can't say no sign at all but there's some weird signs but stopped.

My last gynae appointment, doc said baby's head already engaged.  But not deeply engaged, just like slightly engaged.  Apparently you can't determine engagement via ultrasound.  He has to use his hands to check my lower abdomen and see if baby's head is there.  It was slightly uncomfortable.  Not sure if I am dilated though.

Baby is 3.2kg, add 0.1kg a week.  And now just waiting for labour.  Nobody knows when exactly.  But I still have a week to my due date.  So I guess we just have to wait.

The signs that I am getting is feeling uncomfortable in the cervix area especially when baby is moving.  When that happens, then I get slight heart palpitations.  I was also getting diarrhoea and peeing a lot.  And not to mention, walking like a penguin.  And the sciatica nerves pain is back with vengeance.  Slight Braxton Hicks on Saturday.  It's more like period cramp, like the beginning of a period kinda cramp.  But then it stopped.  

But all in all, I am still here, working.  And my boss is like so worried I don't get to do work for 2 months, so piling up my workload now.  Haha!

I used to have a feeling of what's gonna happened.  But now I don't have any.  Just surrender.  In good time, in good time.

Just want to talk a little bit about being grateful and appreciate life because human very easily forget these and take it for granted.

Before pregnant - We tried hard to get pregnant.  Be it natural or artificial.  It is a struggle for some while easy for others.  At this point of time, for those who are struggling TTC, we don't really care if we made love a certain day to get a baby boy or girl.  As long as there is a BFP, we are happy.  Those who get pregnant easily, would want to see if they can get a boy or a girl by making love at a certain time.  Which I find really weird.

Early pregnancy - Once we get that BFP, most of us are very grateful and happy.  I am talking about those struggling to TTC.  Most of us who has gone through a miscarriage would want to be really sure before we announce it to anyone.  But some who has it easy would have gone to announce it super early.  It's really up to them.  But I would take precaution.  At this point of time, all those who were once struggling would wonder if they can make it through the first trimester.  Treading the days like walking on eggshells.  Praying everyday.

Second trimester - Once we have passed the first trimester, we are even more happy.  Now it's time to check if baby is normal or not.  Another worry especially for mothers above 35 years old.  Here is also where we get to know the gender.  Most of us would pray that as long as baby is healthy and normal, we are happy.  We don't bother if it's not the sex we want or what.  Some mothers are very particular about sex of the baby, especially those already have a boy would want a girl and vice versa.  For us first time mom, who has been struggling, it really doesn't matter.  We are happy as long as baby is healthy and normal.

Third trimester - At the last stretch of pregnancy, we have to count baby's movement everyday.  If baby doesn't move for a day, then we get worried.  Especially mothers who has gone through stillbirth, they are even more worried and nervous.  Anything could happen from now until birth.  We will never know if the umbilical cord is around baby's neck or not.  Or if our womb is normal.  Even if baby is normal and healthy, our womb may not be favourable or there's placenta problem.  Yeah, sometimes weird things like this happened.  We are just happy as long as we can feel baby's movement every single day.  Just a little tickle will do.

Birth - Once we have our baby, I am sure we will all be delighted to get to see baby for the very first time.  This applies to all, whether struggling or not.  But then after a few months, some people will comment.  Oh, my baby is not as pretty or as handsome.  Oh, this baby is smarter than the last baby.  Or I like my first child better than the second because he looks more like me than the second.  Or worse, my baby's skin is so dark.  That kind of nonsense.  I see this happen to a lot of people who never struggled.  They had it easy.  

I have also seen mothers, who has never struggled, but matured and appreciate every child they have, be it dark or light, pretty or not, tall or not, smart or not.  Just accept their uniqueness.  These mothers also educate relatives not to compare their child with other's children because in the end, everyone is different.  

Some of us are never satisfied with what we had.  And some of us forgot the struggle we had in the beginning.  Whatever it is, please appreciate your baby.  Appreciate what God has given to us.  Treasure them and never, ever compare them with anyone.  Be it siblings or cousins.  Everyone is unique and different.  Love everyone equally.