Detailed scan at Week 21

So I just had a detailed scan and everything is alright.  Thank You God!  What the Obgyn did was to scan the whole of the baby, inside out and see if there are any abnormalities.  He said if there is a huge abnormality, they would sometimes asked if the parents want to keep the baby or not.  Parents still have a choice to do a medical termination before Week 22.  He explained that even if there is a hole in the heart, that can be corrected upon birth.  Same thing with cleft lips.  But if major organs are missing, then it's bad news.

I remembered an incident that happened to an ex-colleague.  She got pregnant before marriage and immediately got married after that.  In her 5th month of pregnancy (around Week 20-21), she started scratching her stomach very badly.  No cream can sooth the itch.  Upon checkup with the Obgyn, found that there was an abnormality with her baby.  She didn't tell me the medical word for it but sounded like the baby did not have kidneys or one of the major organs.  The Obgyn told her that the baby cannot survive upon birth and she has the right to medically terminate the baby there and then.

I felt very sorry for her.  Her heart broke into pieces.  It was her first child.  They decided to terminate the baby.  Though it was a difficult decision, but it was for the better for them and the baby.  Eventually they went on to have another girl and another boy.  Both healthy.

I remembered the Obgyn told me that I have a choice to medically terminate the baby if it is found to have Down Syndrome or any major abnormality.  When I told a friend about that, her first question was, "Are you sure you can do it?  How about your emotions?  How about your attachment to the baby?"  At that time I was about 13 weeks and I told her yes, I was pretty sure upon discussion with my husband.  I have learned to be detached from my baby this time as I do not want the same emotional breakdown during the first miscarriage because I was too attached.

But....

By week 19, I could feel the baby's movement.  I knew the sex of the baby.  Do I still have the same answer if my friend ask me again?  I really don't know how the parents who went through this decide to terminate or not.  I am pretty sure the pros and cons are weighed.  If they are religious, probably will not do it.  I mean, it's a life after all.  How do we decide to let it go or not?

Sometimes while waiting for my turn at the Obgyn, there are many couples before us.  Some couple come out of the room with tears of sadness in their eyes.  I am not sure what's the reason but it is probably bad news.  Mostly came out of the room with happiness.  Some will be looking at the ultrasound pictures and taking photos of it and sharing it to the world.  Most of the time I just pray in my heart that my baby will be fine and healthy.

I am just glad that so far everything is good.  And I hope for the same until the baby is born and even after the baby is born.  There's no end to this.  

To all the mothers-to-be out there, I wish all of us a happy and healthy 9 months and to deliver a healthy baby.  I hope too that none of us need to make that decision to terminate or not.

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