Disappointed

Nah...nothing to do with pregnancy, but just disappointed with the overall management in my workplace.  

The top guns do not communicate with each other.  And when we become the messenger, they think we are spreading gossips and rumous about them.  Sucks.

I don't think I can handle any office politics at the moment.  I am praying and hoping for everything to be smooth and good and no obstacles until I go for delivery.  When I come back from maternity, then I will see if I have the energy to cope with these office politics.

But right now, I am too tired to deal with it.  Whatever you say lah, boss.  It's not true but whatever lah.  God knows the truth.

Seriously don't understand what's wrong with people nowadays.  Why can't people be truthful?  Why can't people just talk things out?  What is wrong with surfing the net when I have no work to do or has already finished all my work?  Then you expect me to just stare at my PC the whole day?  And what is this thing that people always judge and assume you are doing the worse?  What worse than having an egoistical boss who doesn't understand his/her staff?

And what's this about venting anger at the staff just because they got it from the top?  I know it's pretty normal but why can't we make it abnormal instead?

Worse come to worse, after maternity, I might just get a new job and resign.  Right now, I am stuck and I can't go anywhere.  And they knew it pretty well.

But I just don't want to be a game piece for them.  It sucks.  I like to work in a place where people honor their word.  Where people are respected regardless of their position.

I am pretty sure that I was not told to proceed.  Very, very sure because I have nothing to do at the moment and was waiting for the green light to proceed.  

But he said he gave the green light to proceed.  Whatever you say lah.  There's no proof.  Only verbal.

I am a person who believe in righteousness.  And I will do things according to the right conduct of life, follow the maryadas and dharma.  I do not cheat.  I do not lie (maybe white lies).  I follow the truth and be as honest as I can be.  While I don't expect everyone to behave the same, but I do have a certain expectation that I get back the honesty and truth.  Not accusation and assumption.

I am responsible and do my work accordingly.  I don't slack but sometimes may procrastinate.  I don't like to leave things to the last minute.  

I do good to people, hoping to get good back in return.  I may sometimes get angry and frustrated, but I have learned not to vent it out on others.  It's not easy.

I used to expect the worse of people and judge them based on their looks or their behaviour or their actions.  It's not a good trait and I have learned a long and hard way.  I used to get into arguments because that person will tell me off for assuming the worse of them.

Now I don't.  I believe there's always a reason behind a person's behaviour and actions.  Whether they are in anger or frustrated or petty or not.  Most of the time, I find they are facing a problem at home or was brought up that way.

While I don't expect everyone to treat me the same as I treat them, but I do expect a certain decency from people.  Don't get angry with me unnecessarily just because you had a bad day.  It's not nice.

Don't assume I am slacking because I have always proven that I am hardworking.  Just because you don't deal with me often, don't assume that I don't do my work.

Lastly, appreciate if you could just leave me out of all the office politics.  I don't need any.  Not now, not this time, not ever.  I don't care if you are a boss or not.  If you don't respect me, neither will I respect you.  Enough said.