Week 39 ~~ 1 more week to go

When anyone asked when I am due, I can now safely say it's next week.  How am I feeling while waiting to pop?  Extremely nervous although trying to keep it all in.

First, since it's my very first time, I don't know what to expect.  Like what tolerance level.  I heard that the pain is like very extreme, so that already make me super nervous.

Second, what will come first for me?  Water breaking?  Contractions?  Bloody works?  No one knows again.  

It's all a waiting game and the waiting is making me very anxious.  Also very moody.  And taking it out on DH.

Am I ready for what's there ahead of me?  I really don't know.  I can say I have made all the preparations there is, but in the end, I don't think anyone is ready for sure.  

So, in order to put my mind at ease and not think about this every single second, I want to write about pre-CNY rush/craziness/madness.

I love CNY.  But I don't like the pre-CNY craze.  When I was a kid, I don't feel it so much.  But now as a married adult, I feel it a lot, especially the past few years.  

There are many things that I don't understand.

First, pre-CNY drivers on the road drives like crazy.  They rush here and there and wants to be first in everything.  I am not sure if it's a Chinese thingy, but it's always rushing to be the first.

Second, because of the pre-CNY buying, traffic jam is a must.  Especially on weekends where everyone heads to the nearest shopping mall to shop, be it clothes or necessity or CNY stuff.  

While some people see it as being the excitement ahead of CNY, I see it as a hassle.  Sorry.  Because the whole purpose of CNY is family gathering and celebrate the new year together, happily.  But during pre-CNY, people are rude and cut queue and what-not.  So that they get what's best and don't care what the rest get.  I feel it defeats the purpose of CNY on a whole.  Being selfish is not the key to CNY.

Now being pregnant, I can feel it more and more.  There are many times I questioned myself, why do I have to give birth now, at this time?  Why can't after CNY?  Because the roads are jam all the time and it's really not an ideal time to be stuck when I am due like next week.  Thank God, Thaipusam is there and there's public holiday before my due date.  Phew.  But this week, I have to really tahan.

And not to mention, CNY is all about money, money and money.  And I am not even talking about giving or receiving ang pow.  Buying the best goods at the best discounted price.  Or those who flaunt would want to have the biggest CNY party ever to show off.

I know I feel so negative about the whole CNY thing.  That's because I feel Hari Raya is more meaningful, with the maaf, zahir and batin on the day.  It's all about forgiveness and moving on.  Deepavali is all about good over evil and to celebrate that.

But what about CNY?  If it's about reunion of family, so be it.  Be nice to others before that.  No need to rush.  No need to snatch.  No need to be the very first.  Don't be selfish.

Sorry for the rant.  Every CNY I feel this craziness.  And now with GST and price hike, I feel it more.

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